Asked by: A.D, lawrence, massachusetts

Answer: It sounds like you don't want to have sex with him, which is certainly the healthiest choice for you physically and emotionally. It can be really hard, though, when one person wants a more physical relationship than the other. Sometimes it feels too hard to work through, and you might decide it's easier or better to break up. If you do decide to stay with him, you need to make sure you are clear about your limits and that you don't let him pressure you into doing something you don't want. Regret never feels good! Check out the information below for some skills to help you resist pressure.

Asked by: PL, Taunton, MA

Answer: I'm glad you are thinking now about how to stick with your decision to wait. Some suggestions:

• Choose your friends carefully— friends who support your decision and can help you through relationship choices will be a lot more helpful than friends who might not respect your choices.
• Avoid situations where you might be more likely to compromise your limits, like maybe being alone with your partner late at night or going to parties where people are drinking.
• When you start a new dating relationship, talk to your partner about your intentions and set expectations and limits for your relationship early on.

There are lots of other resources on this website that should help you. Look around!

Asked by: HD, Lynn, MA

Answer: It's never too late! You can always start again and decide to hold off on sex from now on- until you're in that committed relationship with just one person for life. You certainly don't want to keep making more decisions you might regret. Make a promise to yourself to wait- better yet, find a friend and promise together. Then you can help each other make healthy choices. Check out the information below for more ideas and suggestions.

Asked by: sh, roxbury, ma

Answer: That's a difficult question. Certainly not everyone loses the respect of others when they have sex— some people even seem to gain respect. This unfortunately often comes down to gender, with girls being called awful names and guys getting smiles of approval. Most people at some level value sex as a special expression of intimacy that is worth saving for a committed relationship. Sharing that early or with more than one person might cause some people to judge the people, especially a girl, involved. One of the consequences of choices we make is that they impact how other people think of us, either for good or for bad. You need to remember that your value as a person is not determined by what other people think or say about you. And if you have been involved in sexual activity in the past, you can always choose to start over, and make different choices the next time around.